Thursday, May 30, 2013

Moving Forward with IUI

I had my phone consultation w/ our RE and all-in-all it went well. He said all of the tests we've had done look great. Of course he thinks IVF is our best route since I apparently don't have many eggs left, but my hubby and I already decided that we don't necessarily want to do that - or at least don't want to jump to that immediately. We'd have to take out a loan to do it and with our student loan debt still going strong, I just don't feel like that's a smart idea.

So - we're choosing to move forward with an IUI. Of course, this irritates my husband beyond belief. We just spent $3500 on "unnecessary" tests just to turn around and do the same thing we were planning on doing 2 months ago. Kind of sad when you think of it that way, but that's what we had to do in order to move forward, so it's a done deal. I don't think it is worth thinking or stressing out about anymore.

Now we just have to decide if we want to do IUI + clomid or IUI + injectables. Clomid is MUCH cheaper. The injectables are between $1500-2000 per month, and that's just for the drugs alone. I was 100% ready to proceed w/ injectables until I heard this. That means every month we do an IUI we'd be investing around $3,000. That would add up fast and in my head I'm thinking that would make IVF a better option.

This is the toughest position to be in. While I'm grateful we are being given the chance to still conceive our own child, I hate the fact that cost has to factor in to our decision. If I had a choice, of course I'd do IVF. If I had a second choice, I'd do injectables. But -- neither are really financially possible right now.

I decided I would do the clomid IUI and in the meantime, I'd work as much overtime as I possibly could and maybe I could save up around $2,000 to put towards the injectables for the next cycle. It's going to suck, but it would be worth the sacrafice.

That's all for now!
OH! wait -- there's more. I asked him about my "heart shaped" uterus and he said he thinks the x-rays look very normal and he doesn't see anything abnormal about it. So heck yeah!! Nothing like stressing out for nothing.

Monday, May 27, 2013

I just scared myself

During my HSG a couple weeks ago, they could see that my uterus is "slightly" heart-shaped. It wasn't brought up in great detail, just a quick, "as you can see your uterus is has a slight heart shape, and this is your fallopian tube...". So at the time, I thought nothing of it other than "aw, that's so cute - it's a heart shape waiting to love whatever finally gets to grow in it".

Well I finally had time to do a quick google search. YIKES! After seeing a few articles, I decided I need to NOT do that anymore and instead wait to hear what my RE has to say about my particular situation.

All of the articles out there talk about increased miscarriages, increased pre-term births, increased c-section births & increased diformaties in the child. Seriously - the internet is a scary place :(

I would pretty much die if after all of this struggle we've been having, we continue to struggle down the road. I guess I can't jump to conclusions until I hear from my Doctor - which is happening in 2 days. I can't wait!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

HSG - Check!

I did it!!! I feel so proud of myself right now.... what a crazy and scary experience. Mainly it was scary because I had no idea what was going to happen or what to expect. I didn't really do a TON of googling prior to the procedure because I thought that might help.... I'm not sure if it did or not. I just told myself there was nothing I could do about it, so why stress myself out.

Here's the rundown:
I was brought into the xray room by a nurse.... in the room was my doctor and another woman about my age and the ladies said they were there to be my moral support. Moral support?! - I didn't know it was scary enough for me to need THAT. My husband came with me, I thought that would be enough.

Next, they had me change into a hospital gown and take off my bottom half of clothes. Then I hopped up onto the end of this long xray table and they had me lay down w/ my legs up on the edge of the table. I apologize for the TMI of this post, but I'm going to tell it like it is. I was on day 5 of my period, so it wasn't TOO terrible as far as bleeding. My doctor put the speculum in just like a normal papsmere. Then she said she needed to "clean up my cervix"... mmmm.... so she did some stuff down there for a while. The whole time I was thinking - HURRY UP AND GET THIS OVERWITH! Next, she inserted this catheter. I had a sheet up this whole time so I had no idea what was going on. When she did this, she said I should feel some cramping. I have to be honest, I didn't.... So then I was like, oooo awesome.... this is easy! I figured she was putting the liquid in. NOPE! not yet....

Next, the radiologist came in. Well, my doctor still needed to get the speculum out before I could move to have my photos taken. So she messed around w/ that for a LONG time. I have absolutely no idea what was happening. I'm assuming I was bleeding a little bit or something and she was cleaning that up? Anyway... she finally took the speculum out and the nurses all pulled me up higher on the table while I was laying flat on my back and my legs were down. I could feel that the catheter was still in place. The radiologist then started hitting the button to get pictures of my uterus and my tubes. And then it happened..... the liquid went in. I could feel it.....  I have to be honest ladies.... It HURT. Imagine bad period cramps... That's really what it felt like. :( The worst part is that you can't move. When I have cramps, I want to curl up into a little ball in the fetal position and I couldn't do that this time. So I began to grab and pinch my hospital gown. I just kept pinching and grabbing harder and harder. It probably only lasted about a minute at the most, but it was not fun.

Then they got pictures and the fluid just spilled out all over (meaning no blockages - HOORAY!).

Once that's over, they take the catheter out and you get to clean yourself up w/ a washcloth and they give you a pad to wear. I asked what happens to all of the liquid once it is in there and they said the body actually absorbs most of it.

There you have it! That is the HSG experience. Would I ever want to do it again? NO WAY! Was it completely terrible.... no....... Was it painful & unpleasant? unfortunately yes.

At least nothing was wrong... although my husband and I feel 2 ways about that. It's great news, however, we just wasted $3,000 to get that answer. I know it wasn't a WASTE. But dang it, it takes us a LONG time to save up that kind of money. And that would have been money well spent had we used it towards our future IUIs.

Oh well, it is done and at least I don't have any more tests to do. I am officially DONE WITH TESTS!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Baseline Ultrasound, one more test to go

Well, on Monday I had my first ever ultrasound. I will admit I always thought my first ultrasound would be when I was finally seeing my baby for the first time. Having it be like this was a bit disappointing and sad for me but I remind myself that it will be just as exciting when that day does finally get here.

Before going in, the idea of an internal ultrasound on day 3 of my period sounded completely horrifying. "I have to do what???" I whined. But I'm here to tell you that it isn't as nasty as it initially sounds. They had a bathroom right off of the room, so I was able to get changed and go potty right there in private.

The ultrasound tech was so nice. She went very slowly made sure to explain to me everything she was doing -- which was mainly measuring everything she found. This included my lining, cervix, ovary sizes, & follicle sizes. It probably only lasted around 10 minutes and then I was able to slip back into the bathroom where they had tampons for your use.

After, she told me the nurse would go over the results with me. I was so excited to hear what everything meant since I really didn't understand anything. I also have no idea what they were looking for. So -- I walked into the nurses office and she goes, "oh, no, I actually don't need to see you. I will fax these up to them this morning". I was thinking.... "them"? Who is that? I can only assume it is my RE who is in a different city. Not what I wanted to hear! I don't think she could go over the results with me because technically HE is my doctor now. ugh. So I am still in the dark about what the heck they found.

Tomorrow is my HSG. Holy crap I can't believe that this is actually going to finally happen. The sad part is that I'm more worried about forking out 3 grand than I am about the actual procedure. HAHA! I just get real nervous anytime we spend that kind of money. I'm also worried it isn't going to be what I'm expecting. I had a leep done about 7 years ago and had heard that the cramping after that is horrible. I was pleasantly surprised when I had no camping at all. So now I am thinking the same might be the case this time around.... right? I'm expecting to go in there and not have any cramping after. I think I might be dooming myself, but I am trying to keep a positive attitude here and not get too nervous about it. There's nothing I can do at this point and this needs to be done if I ever want a chance at having a child.... So - I'm all in.

WISH ME LUCK! EEEP!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

I hate you UMR

UGH.... I was told last week that our tests coming up would count towards our insurance deductible. Now I just received a phone call and she said she talked to another lady at UMR and NOTHING is covered.

And I quote... "If it is for medical needs, it is covered. If it is for fertility needs, it is not covered".

SERIOUSLY INSURANCE, SERIOUSLY??????????!!!!!!

That makes sooooo much sense doesn't it?? For crying out loud... how is my body not able to have a baby because SOMETHING is wrong with it NOT medical. Why the **** do they think they can draw a line in the sand like that. It's just incredibly ridiculous.

I've never needed our medical insurance before, yet I pay in every damn month.... and now that I finally NEED it for something, oh yeah, sorry, you're not covered.

What is wrong with this country?!