Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Awesome Snail Mail
Came home today to find this awesome gem in our mailbox. Thanks for rubbing it in, insurance company.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Anyone else have a case of the Back-and-Forths?
When I say that this journey is a rollercoaster, I MEAN IT!
Up and down and back and forth, that's what my life is made up of when it comes to babies and having children.
If I had the chance to have sex the normal way and conceive fairly easily, I would have a child.
But since that isn't an option, it really begs you to answer the question of "do I really want kids?". "Should I really be doing this?". "How do I want to go about this?". Those questions scare the living begeezers out of me and honestly, the answers change on an almost daily basis.
I went through a good month-long phase where I wanted a baby and I wanted one really badly. I was convinced I would adopt and I'd live in a wonderful world of bliss forever and ever. Now, today, I feel the opposite. I feel like, maybe I don't really NEED a child to make my life meaningful and happy. So what is the answer for me? I HAVE NO IDEA!
Since my last post, I've contacted an adoption agency in the area and got a handful of information from them. Information on the types of adoptions and the costs of those adoptions and a few generalized FAQs. The lady also informed me of informational meetings that they do once a month, if I was interested in attending. I suddenly got cold feet. I'm not ready!! I told her that we'd let her know if/when we are ready and we'll register for one of those meetings at that point.
Seriously people, this is the hardest decision of my life. I know that people who have kids will say there are plenty of days when they wish they didn't. And I also know that people who didn't have kids will say there are days when they really regret it. So that doesn't help.
I found a few discussions on Reddit where people have asked certain age ranges without kids if they ever regret their decision to not have them. It's a bit eye opening. Many people with kids still end up dying alone in a nursing home. Many people without kids were still able to make a very meaningful and fulfilling life for themselves - doing charity work and things that inspired them. I love that! I mean, we really do only have one life to live, why not live it up? Go on vacations whenever you want... become more knowledgeable in the areas you're interested in... sleep....sleep... and sleep (whenever you feel like it). :-P
It's worth a read... (I still haven't made it through all of these, but wanted to share them with you).
I guess what I've learned from all of this is that I won't ever stop struggling with whatever decision we make. AND if we do decide to adopt, that child will be loved beyond any kind of love that can ever be given. We'll have really thought this through and researched and we'll know we're making the best decision for us.
In the meantime tho.... you will continue to think I'm nutty since I don't know if I want kids & I keep going back & forth about it.
Can I just go back to being 5 please? ahhh, to live in a state where you have NO idea the kinds of decisions that adults are making on a daily basis.
Up and down and back and forth, that's what my life is made up of when it comes to babies and having children.
If I had the chance to have sex the normal way and conceive fairly easily, I would have a child.
But since that isn't an option, it really begs you to answer the question of "do I really want kids?". "Should I really be doing this?". "How do I want to go about this?". Those questions scare the living begeezers out of me and honestly, the answers change on an almost daily basis.
I went through a good month-long phase where I wanted a baby and I wanted one really badly. I was convinced I would adopt and I'd live in a wonderful world of bliss forever and ever. Now, today, I feel the opposite. I feel like, maybe I don't really NEED a child to make my life meaningful and happy. So what is the answer for me? I HAVE NO IDEA!
Since my last post, I've contacted an adoption agency in the area and got a handful of information from them. Information on the types of adoptions and the costs of those adoptions and a few generalized FAQs. The lady also informed me of informational meetings that they do once a month, if I was interested in attending. I suddenly got cold feet. I'm not ready!! I told her that we'd let her know if/when we are ready and we'll register for one of those meetings at that point.
Seriously people, this is the hardest decision of my life. I know that people who have kids will say there are plenty of days when they wish they didn't. And I also know that people who didn't have kids will say there are days when they really regret it. So that doesn't help.
I found a few discussions on Reddit where people have asked certain age ranges without kids if they ever regret their decision to not have them. It's a bit eye opening. Many people with kids still end up dying alone in a nursing home. Many people without kids were still able to make a very meaningful and fulfilling life for themselves - doing charity work and things that inspired them. I love that! I mean, we really do only have one life to live, why not live it up? Go on vacations whenever you want... become more knowledgeable in the areas you're interested in... sleep....sleep... and sleep (whenever you feel like it). :-P
It's worth a read... (I still haven't made it through all of these, but wanted to share them with you).
In the meantime tho.... you will continue to think I'm nutty since I don't know if I want kids & I keep going back & forth about it.
Can I just go back to being 5 please? ahhh, to live in a state where you have NO idea the kinds of decisions that adults are making on a daily basis.
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