I Feel Like I'm Pregnant

But more in the giving-birth-in-12-months kind of way. Since my last post, I talked to my husband. I told him that I have really been rethinking the idea of IVF. When we first started all of this, we both said no-way-jose to IVF. The main reasons for that were the money, the invasiveness & the fact that it isn't a guarantee.

I found this website: www.barbadosivf.com and got pretty excited. It's wayyyy cheaper than the cost of IVF in our area PLUS you'd get to sit on a beach for the entire 2 weeks - heck yeah! So honestly, it changed my mind. I feel like I could save 6 or 7K this year and we could do this next year sometime. BUUUUT, my husband isn't as willing and eager as I am. Unfortunately when I suggested this idea, he responded with the fact that he'd still rather adopt over doing IVF. I'll be honest, my first reaction to this was a tiny bit of disappointment. The longer I've had to think about it, the more I feel he's right.

So as of right now, I can say that we'll be adopting some point in the next year or two. AHHH. Now, there's still a lot of researching and information that needs to be gathered. I'm hoping we can make appointments with a few agencies in the area and get more information. I'd also still like to get information on IVF and then sit down and compare the two once we know more about them. All I know is that the idea of having a baby - whether biological or not - excites the crap out of me. I have so much love to give.

So for once in a long time, I am looking forward to the future. We'll take this year to get our stuff in gear and finances figured out. And then, hopefully we can welcome home a new baby somehow someway.

WEEEEEEE!!! :)

Thoughts...about IVF

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I blame it on all of the infertility blogs I follow. 80% of the people are all doing their IVF treatments right now and I have to say... it leaves me feeling jealous. I'm honestly finding myself thinking more and more about IVF. It scares me. It scares me because I have no idea how we'd ever afford it. The financial obligation is just too overwhelming to me. We're literally saving everything we can this year so we can pay off our student loans at the end of the year. We are so excited to be "debt free" (still have house and car) for once in our lives and the idea of adding another loan for IVF really depresses me. I think I need more information really. How does it work? Is a loan our only option?

Bottom line is that I watch other parents with their children and their children have bits and pieces of each parents' personalities. I love that. I want a little version of my hubby running around. Or a little girl who is like me. I want to grow and build a family with my husband. I want to partake in those conversations about what giving birth is like.

I'm going to make it my goal to research and do all I can to figure out ways to afford IVF. I'm going to save as much of my side business money as I can. If I could save $10K from that this year, that would be a huge chunk to put towards it. Is it possible? I suppose... but it will be EXTREMELY difficult and I'll have to work really hard. Is it wise to put all of our other dreams and goals on hold for this? We want to move out of our house.... but can we do that and this and think about paying for daycare potentially? Will we be able to afford that?

Seeing all of the other people go through it makes me feel like we can do it too. I suppose it has given me a little hope and opened my eyes to the idea of it. It doesn't hurt that every single person has gotten pregnant on the first attempt.

Am I crazy? Or is this a good goal? If you have any advice on how to raise money for something like this, please share your thoughts.