Thanks to a very lovely reader of this blog, I was reminded that I should probably update my readers on what my life looks like today. It makes sense that when someone goes silent on a blog like this, you'd think they may have gotten pregnant, had a baby and had no time for anything besides staring into those beautiful eyes. Unfortunately that is not the case in my story.
So -- essentially for the last year my husband and I had "given up" on starting a family. And I hate using that terminology because we still have unprotected sex regularly and were still hopeful that we were going to wake up one morning and find out we were expecting a miracle baby. People always say when you stop trying, it happens. But that isn't always the case. I can say that 98% of the time I do not think about babies or wanting a baby. 2% of the time I have thoughts about holidays with my children and having something wonderful like that to live for. I'd say that's not too shabby. In the last year I've been blessed with a niece and nephew and a godchild so I have been incredibly lucky in that I get baby fixes constantly. It's a wonderful thing to be able to hand the baby back at the end of the night and go home to get a full nights sleep.
If there's anything I've learned - it's to ALWAYS look at the positive in your life, not the negative. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before on this blog, but something that helped to put things in perspective for me was this documentary series on Showtime called "Time of Death". If you've seen this, I don't need to say more. If you haven't, it's this crazy ground breaking show that captured 5 or 6 families going through losing a family member. They would follow that person from time of diagnosis til they took their last breath - sometimes even filming their death. It sounds morbid and literally every episode scared me so much, but it was one of the most amazing things I've seen. It changed everything for me. Life could be worse. I'm so so lucky to have a healthy family and to have my OWN health. How can you be upset about anything you're facing when you see REAL stuff like that which so many families out there are dealing with right at this moment.
I've actually started thinking about setting an age in which I will say "enough is enough". Do I really want to be a mother at 38? 40? Eh.... it's everyone's personal choice, but for me, I'd say no. I'm currently 32 and I'm thinking of setting a date for when I just might go back on birth control in order to prevent anything from happening.
So that's my life at the current date. I hope that others out there are having a lot more luck than I am in this department. I'd love to hear your stories!
